Lubbock, Y’all Nasty: Syphilis Cases Are Up 300 Percent
We have to do better, people. Holy moly!
The Lubbock Health Department reported a 300 percent rise in syphilis cases. Lubbock County went from having 111 to 452 cases, which is around a 307 percent increase.
Here's a reminder that even if you refuse to wear a mask, you clearly still need to wrap your peep before you go get your freak on.
If you're experiencing any of the following syphilis symptoms, please do yourself a favor and head to the nearest clinic ASAP:
- A sore or rash on your junk that might not even hurt or itch
- Sores or rashes on the bottoms of your feet and palms of your hands
- Warts on your mouth or your wee-wee/lady parts
- Hair loss, muscle aches, fever, sore throat, or swollen lymph nodes
Luckily, there's a cure for syphilis, but if you ignore the symptoms and don't get yourself treated, s**t will totally go sideways for you later on. You could experience vision loss, heart problems, organ failure and a number of other totally crappy things, according to the Mayo Clinic.
So please, for crying out loud, go get tested and quit spreading this crap around. Right now, everyone is out there celebrating Texas Tech's big win against the Texas Longhorns and there will probably be some wild parties that lead to more drunken sexual encounters and whatnot. Don't be silly -- wrap your willy!
There are all kinds of fancy cool condoms on the market now, so if you're planning to get it on, please make sure you have one in your pocket or purse. Better yet, make sure whoever you're snuggling up to and knocking boots with has already been tested.