There is no limit to how much stuffing one man should consume on Thanksgiving. There never will be. You can rest assured that no matter how much stuffing you consume, your family will still be your family, and your friends will still be your friends. Discussing politics, on the other hand, can get kind of icky and terrible. Dishes might fly. Wine could get thrown in your face.
Just focus on the stuffing and ignore heated political discussions with your family members that will probably never agree with you or understand your point of view. It's futile, but you know what isn't? Stuffing.
In spite of the fact that you are also celebrating the genocide of millions of Native people, the stuffing will be there for you. Cry into it as you ponder your controversial white heritage and all of the pain and suffering it has caused while sitting directly across from your most racist family members.
It isn't your fault. You weren't there. Be mindful of what happened, and just shut up, and eat the stuffing. Use the stuffing as a metaphor for all of the things you keep inside of you this Thanksgiving instead of arguing politics with the side of your family that nobody wants to claim.
Stuff it down. All of it. Stuff yourself with stuffing, and stuff the stuff up. Get stuffed on stuffing and don't even entertain the other stuff. F that stuff, and F up some damn stuffing.
Just know, I am will you in solidarity and only gather with friends and family to get stuffed with stuffing. I share your remorse for a holiday that just keeps on keeping on, no matter how offensive it is to so many people across the country, and I'll also be keeping my mouth closed instead of flying into a rage over distant cousins who think vaccines have microchips in them. All will be well. Eat the stuffing.
These Are The Best Thanksgiving Specials of All Time
More From KFMX FM
