Texans don't trust many institutions: Whataburger at 2 a.m., Jesus, and Buc-ee’s. Think that 'bout covers it...

Now, picture this: What if that smiling Buc-ee's beaver wasn’t just selling you Beaver Nuggets and dope ass brisket sandwiches, but instead, sitting in the Governor’s Mansion?

A government solely run by Buc-ee's wouldn't just drastically change Texas—it would totally redefine it. Forget those weird Austin politics, y'all; we’d have a straight-up Beaver-ocracy, and truthfully? It just might work better than what we've got in place right now...

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Think About It...

It's Friday, and I don't have anything better to do, so let's take this a few steps further and imagine what kind of ridiculous new policies would be put in place in Texas if the state were run by Buc-ee's...

Funny “Policies” Buc-ee’s Would Enforce

1. Beaver Nuggets Are Now The Official Currency
   Inflation? Solved. Everyone is welcome. Sorry for the sticky pockets.

2. Mandatory Beautiful Potties EVERYWHERE
   Every single public restroom in Texas will get fined till they shine! For real! If Buc-ee's can keep them that clean, then why can't everyone else? Bust out your gloves!

3. Breakfast Brisket!
   Forget Taco Tuesday! What about brisket tacos for breakfast EVERY DAY? Let's goooo!

4. Bonus Stimulus Packages For Badass Roadside Attractions
   Every town in Texas gets an oversized statue of something! Take your pick! The biggest and best will be awarded extra cash for keeping kids entertained on road trips. Instead of "Are we there yet!?", now you'll hear, "OH MY GOSH, LOOK AT THAT GIGANTIC BEAVER!" (Get your mind out of the gutter...)

5. No Small Cups Allowed
   Everything you drink is 64 oz or nothing, baby. You might wanna make the switch to Diet Coke now.

6. Out with the National Guard, In With The Beaver Guard
   The Beaver Guard is armed with jerky and endless smiles and is ready to head out and take over Oklahoma.

7. Locals Get Unlimited Parking ANYWHERE. Tourists? Nope.
   Texas locals are welcome to park anywhere at all with wide open spaces; out-of-staters, however, can circle forever. Gives the kids a chance to play that license plate game.

Yep. Nothing could go wrong! I mean, the people in charge seem to be having a pretty tough time right now. A little beaver could go a long way!

Does Buc-ee's have your vote to take over the government? Drop me a comment below this article and join in on the ridiculous fun. Keep scrolling for more Texas-based news in the galleries below...