Why I Look Like An Albino Alien Fishman On My Drivers License
When I got my license back the picture was SO bad that even my wife could not think of anything positive to say. My wife, who is known as the sweetest, kindest woman on the earth said, "you look like an albino alien fish-man".
The next thing I did was send it to Chrissy (from the RockShow) because it was so horrid. Not only did I look like an albino alien fish-man, but I also looked like the ghost of myself was haunting me on my driver's license.
I was about to use some of my time off to have this picture corrected but I think I’m going to live with it. I did a little research about the new licenses and there are two reasons why my license looks bad, #1. I’m ugly and not photogenic and #2. The state of Texas now uses a laser engraving process to put your picture on your license so everybody looks a little off.
Yes, it’s true, it could be entirely possible that I go from the ghost of an albino alien fish-man to something even worse, possibly a shaved, wrinkly, old shaved Yeti with a skin condition.
Seriously, look at my picture again. It’s almost like Thano’s snapped me out of existence and I’m slowly fading out to nothingness. It looks like someone spilled bleach on the picture of a serial killer. It looks like somebody put eyes on a cue ball. It looks like somehow my goatee was absorbed into my face.
I certainly hope my picture does not haunt your dreams, although I'm willing to accept that it might. If you have to get your license done, you may want to ask for a sneak-peak of the pic they take.