I don't care how many times your wife, girlfriend or lover says not to, you better get them something for Valentines.  Yes, they love to say it's just a corporate holiday to sell cards and candies, but they will remember FOREVER if you don't do anything.

Justin Sullivan/Getty Images
Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

What they want is to say that they don't want anything and for you to be such a lovable lug that you got them something anyways.  Listen to me again. They will look you in the eyes and threaten to MURDER you if you get them something, but they will remember UNTIL THE DAY YOU DIE if you don't get them something.

So what to do?  It doesn't have to be much.  For a couple of bucks you can get a little bowl of chocolate that melts in the microwave and some strawberries to go with it.  You can pick up a card and a little candy heart for five bucks.  If you shop around you can get "not roses" for about $10.  A bottle of wine makes a good Valentines treat.  You can take selfie and write  "Be My Valentine" on it and post it on her Facebook feed. You could also just step up and offer to cook dinner and do the dishes that night.  There's always a massage.  It seems ladies always love "the massage" even if you have no idea what the hell you're doing.   And you could always make it a night of sweet sweet lovin' "ladies choice" style (you do what she wants and not the other way around).

Now, for the 3rd time, do NOT IGNORE VALENTINES.  No matter what she says.  Do SOMETHING.  It doesn't have to be anything big, but if you don't DO SOMETHING you will pay for it for the rest of your life.

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