Here’s What Texans Need To Know About Buying A $100 Grill

Texans, I have information here you need to know.

Grilling

I am not a typical Texan. I do not barbeque, I do not smoke things. I cook things over flames roughly the size of those at KISS concerts. I cook over fires that take the hair off my knuckles. I'm strictly a burgers and steak guy. Occasionally I'll do a little yardbird, and if I'm feeling a bit saucy, I might skewer some shrimp. Let's put it another way; Meat+Fire=Dinner.

The Flames Of Hell

So as you can see below, my current grill bit the dust. It was no doubt due to age and the high temperatures I use. The actual grills in the thing are replacements. It was a sad day to put the thing out of its misery, but I think it had a good life. Take a look at this:

Upgrade

I had not intention of replacing that grill over the weekend but I found one for $98 dollars. Since I'm just throwing a few burgers or steaks on it, I was prepared to take on this smaller model. This is my message to you, these aren't cheaper because they're smaller, they're cheaper because what is involved in getting it ready to go.

The Downside

First up, a hundred-dollar grill is going to require two hundred dollars in labor. It was just a box of parts with bad pictograms on assembly. I know you might have your wife or kid help you with a project like this, but if you like having a wife or kid, do not involve them in this. There will be curse words, accusations, and feelings of despair.

More Mistakes Were Made

The second mistake I made was assembling the grill while I was hungry. This was a very poor choice on my part, because the assembly was over an hour (even with the assistance of an electric screwdriver). Oh, and despite the pictogram, I still had two leftover parts I had to install while the steaks were cooking.

Downsides

Just a couple of other items a hundred-dollar grill will get ya. The first thing(s) you cook on it are going to taste a bit like the grill. Next, you're going to have back pain the next day. Good luck with your grillng, and take it from me, you make want to pick up a fully assembled three hundred dollar grill.