Lubbock Couple Steals ‘Expensive Anal Plug’ From Sexy Novelty Shop

Of all the things you might get caught on camera stealing, this has got to be one of the most unfortunate and kind of hard to explain away.

A loaf of bread? Ah, they were just hungry. A handful of pennies from the counter donation box? Ah, they must be homeless. But an anal plug? Ha!

These fools were just horned up and gave no effs.

Images of the couple in question have now been shared across the internet after being posted on the Facebook page Operation Crime Watch Lubbock.

The first photo depicts a young blonde woman in an Ole Miss sweater staring nervously -- and directly -- at a security camera. Priceless. Another shows her loser boyfriend holding the butt plug in question, staring off into the distance, probably questioning all of the mistakes in his life that lead him to this...um...coup de grace. The third photo has both purported thieves in it. The girl appears worried, with both hands out in front of her touching her fingertips together, and the guy looks like he doesn't have a whole lot going on between the ears.

Does anyone recognize these love birds?

I don't think this is one of those situations where surrendering the item will get you off the hook. That bad boy isn't going back on the shelf. Ew.

I wonder how this all started...

"Babe, do you still wanna do that one thing you said you wanted to do when you were drunk last night?"

"Umm. I forgot about that. Um. I guess so. I mean, maybe next time I get paid or something we can go to the store."

"Nah, I'll get it, babe. You're my girl. Anything for you."

HA!