How Texas Grandmothers Turned Purses Into Survival Kits

Back before Stanley Cups, smartphones, earbuds, and other electronic garbage, Lubbock grandmas carried everything they needed in one magical Mary Poppins-style purse.

This wasn't just any old purse. It was a survival kit for you and your cousins' tomfoolery. It was also a snack bar, and occasionally, even a toy store.

How she fit all that stuff in there is a mystery we'll probably never get to the bottom of.

Here are a couple of things every Lubbock granny seemed to keep tucked away in that bag:

1. Goodart's Peanut Patties

If it wasn't Goodart's, it was a ziplock bag of her own peanut brittle. Mine always had that on hand for a little snack when we got fussy walking home from playing at various parks in Tech Terrace.

2. Enough Tissue For A Small Emergency

I don't know about you, but I was a bloody-nose kid, and my grandma never trusted the world's tissue supply to keep up with the demand of my nose. Our dry climate, mixed with my favorite childhood hobby: nose-picking, was a disaster that nobody but Grandma was ever prepared for. She always had extra tissues and leftover napkins from Dairy Queen stuffed in her purse. (FYI, those napkins are not very absorbent, a lesson we learned time and time again...in public.)

3. Loose Dollar Bills and Quarters AKA Garage Sale Loot

Grandma never had anything but cash. No cards. Just cash.

Mine specifically kept one-dollar bills and change in there exclusively for garage sale deals. We would hit up as many as we could on Saturday mornings. We found so many little treasures, and she was excellent at bargaining. I think it was because she was so stinkin' adorable.

4. Hard Candy of Unknown Origin

These were hit or miss...

Nobody knew how old they were or where they came from, but somehow, she always had peppermint, butterscotch, or cinnamon candy available when you needed something to do in church other than wiggle around in your seat or nap in her lap. Those kept me occupied, even if they occasionally tasted like dirt.

5. McDonald's Toys She Saved Just For You

She would say she ordered Happy Meals because they were the "perfect amount of food" for her, but the real reason she got them was that they came with a toy and she had a gaggle of grandkids to spoil. Sometimes, she'd keep one in there for months before seeing my out-of-town cousins, and no matter how much I begged, she would remind me I wasn't the only grandchild. (I was the lucky one who lived down the block and got to sleep over every weekend, so I really couldn't complain much. NEENER NEENER, Ashley, Trey, and Patrick!)

6. Tic Tacs

Not one container, but several. Some empty. Some full. Some that popped open and dumped all over the bottom of the bag. Didn't stop me from eating them.

7. A Church Bulletin

Every grandma had one of those in there. Perhaps it was from Sunday, or maybe it was from three months ago. Either way, she would pull it out and hand me a pen to draw pictures on the back when I got bored somewhere, like the bank. She always had a plan to keep me in line.

8. A Snickers Bar

The purse Snickers bar was only a backup.

The real inventory was hidden in her bedroom drawer at home.

She was always "dieting," but I caught her snacking on those and a regular Coca-Cola more than one time. She'd always give me a wink and remind me not to tell my granddaddy about her endless supply.

9. Twenty-Seven Receipts "Just In Case."

You never know when you have to make a return on a 50-cent tube of Closeup toothpaste from the dollar store!

10. A Tiny Sewing Kit

A button could fall off anywhere, and she was prepared to fix it.

If she could have put her whole sewing machine in there, she would have.

11. An Address Book Older Than You

Every important phone number she needed was concealed in that little black address book, and she could still find a number faster than most people could scrolling through their contacts.