Have you ever had a wardrobe malfunction? I'm betting you did, you just may not want to talk about it.

So I have a certain pair of camouflage pants that I like to work in. With the environment out at Nightmare, I'm always covered with dirt, getting stuck with nails, and carrying scorpions home in my pocket. I wear these pants so frequently that one of the crew actually asked me a couple of weeks ago how long I've had the pants.

These are also the pants I wear for my early morning shopping at the grocery store, the hardware store, and if I have to run an errand. My pants have been mended, patched, and sewed back together a number of times by my lovely wife.

This past weekend I was kicking around town dowing my regular business and one of my stops was to go let a neighbors dog out. In the middle of some serious fetch, I noticed a serious breeze on my (chiseled from fine marble, lilly-white) ass-checks. I reached back and there was a hole in my pants big enough to put my whole hand through.

Nessmania

After my discovery, I realized I had been to yes, the grocery store, the hardware store, Nightmare, and Chrissy's house. Even worse, the day before it was a little cooler so I was wearing long-underwear so it's possible I was running around all day with my drawers showing then too, even though I couldn't feel the breeze.

So the end of the story is, there's NO WAY that I wasn't running around with ass out, and maybe next time, you could tap me on the shoulder or throw a Coke can at me or something and let me know. Do me that one little square, okay?

 

10 Famous People Who Went to Texas Tech University

10 Famous People Who Went to Texas Tech University