Mornings In Texas: Cozy Hoodies To Oppressive Heat

We're well into October, and at this point, the Texas heat hasn't budged very far from the excruciating summer months. The heat in this state isn't just hot — it's sentient. It's evolved. The temperature around here is no longer simply a weather pattern, no, my friends, it's a gosh darn supervillain, hell bent on roasting anyone who dares wear a sweater until it's good and ready to eff off.

It's subtle, and it's plotting your demise.

In the morning, it fools you into thinking you can get away with a hoodie. Meanwhile, it's in the background whispering, "Foolish mortal.", bearing down upon you unnecessarily while you wait for the air conditioner to kick on in the Whataburger drive-thru.

"Surely I don't need more Freon this late in the year", you mutter to yourself as you apply deodorant for the 3rd time today while cramming a BBQ Chicken Strip Sandwich in your mouth.

Sauce falls to the seat. You swear you hear it sizzle...

The worst part? The electric bill.

Your body and your air conditioner are on completely different wavelengths. Turn it off before work and risk coming home to a sweltering hot house and 3 sweaty, angry cats? Or leave in blasting and put the $300 bill on the credit card?

There is no in between.

West Texans don't even sweat anymore. We friggin' marinate. No matter how many years you've been here, you never get used to it, and you never enjoy it. Not a single one of us is excited to wake up every day, questioning what possessed us to put down roots in this part of the world.

From the bottom of my pea-pickin' heart, please, Texas heat, back the hell off. We've had enough. We surrender, white flag and all. Show a little mercy. At the very least, if you must, drop the worst of it off over in Oklahoma somewhere...

Keep scrolling for more silly West Texas weather fun in the galleries below, and join me in wearing a hoodie every day until God notices and acts accordingly. It's the only way.