I don't care who you are...you fart. Sometimes in the privacy of your own home, and sometimes right in front of strangers on accident. It is what it is. Farts happen. They are hilarious. It doesn't matter how old or young you are. Farts are always funny. Don't try telling me they aren't, especially after you read these amazing fart stories provided by FMX listeners.

You guys are a gassy bunch. Enjoy!

TELL ME AN EMBARRASSING FART STORY

"When I was married and we did foster care. We had a 1976 Ford motorhome and we went ALL over in it, including road trips to Washington State every year. We would travel straight through and I would drive at night mostly and sleep during the day. One day I woke up and Dustin looks at me and says "Look it's the Red Ripper!" - must have been farting in my sleep. To this day, he'll call me Red Ripper with or without the farts!" - Robin Kay Janousek

"Was in high school, so probably 97’. Was in McDonald’s with some friends one night and this is when they had the hard plastic seats (may still have them, I have no clue) and my buddy was listening to something on his Discman. He rips one, it reverberates between his butt cheeks and the hollow plastic and it is so loud we can hear one person at the front counter say, “the f*** was that?” A few seconds later he realizes we are all staring at him laughing. He swears it was just a small one but everyone in the McDonald’s that night would disagree." - Gray Spencer

"Oh man this one time I lived with a bunch of comics in San Antonio and one morning after a night of drinking, drugs, and tacos, I woke up and thought everyone else was asleep and I felt a ton of pressure on my stomach and butthole and knew it was gonna be a good one, so I got into optimal fart position and let it rip, it was loud and musical, like a one trombone Mardi gras parade, it was such a good fart, probably one of the best ever, however as soon as it ends I hear a lot of laughing and my roommate yells "Nice one". Apparently, it was noon and a lot of comics had come over to write and eat lunch." - JJ Howell

"We were taking a test for college algebra in high school. Somehow me and my buddy were smart enough for that. Anyway in the middle of the test, it was silent and we all heard a girl sneeze and she farted at the same time. She was right in front of my buddy and we both look at each other and I started laughing first and everyone started laughing quietly. That girl's face was so red as she looked down at her paper like nothing happened." - Ray Walker

"When I was about 8 months pregnant, I accidentally let one loose in a shoe store. As I was checking out, the lady behind me said “it must be a boy based on the smell of your gas”....turned out she was right!" - Courtney Boozer

"I just pushed out what I thought was going to be a little toot while getting in the truck to take Jayden to school.......all my neighbors are outside smoking......it was not a little toot. And of course, Jayden screams out “MOM DID YOU JUST FART! YOUR GROSS!” Thanks, child." - Lauren Rachelle

"My brother-in-law was telling me a story about his podiatrist. We were sitting on the floor. He rocked back to emphasize the climax of his story and blasted a ginormous break of wind at my face. There were six other people in the room. He still hasn’t heard the end of it." - Courtney Headley

"Yesterday at work. Sitting in the back of the program training class, tried to let a silent one go. It instead sounded like a controlled explosion, yet muffled. The dude in front of me turned around and said ‘huh’?" - Brady Gandy

"When I worked at Premiere Cinema a co-worker thought it would be a good idea to sneak up on me And scare me. I had already had bubble guts all day and was changing the chili and queso for nachos. She snuck up and scared me and I farted and said, "Damn it." Couldn't hide it either. Loud as can be and she was LITERALLY on the floor laughing her ass off." - James Webb

"When my son was like 6, I farted in his face to be funny. Well, he ran to the bathroom, threw up, and told mom that I pooped in his face. I still laugh about it to this day." - Matt Payne

"I was in a public restroom using a urinal and a man walked up to use the urinal right next to me. He cut a really loud and long fart followed by a groan of relief. I tried to hold back from laughing but let out a little giggle. He turned to me and said “grow up man” and I just kept my head down and said “Sorry.” I stayed at the urinal awkwardly until he washed his hands and left the restroom." - Christian Rivera

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"Sitting in church, the pastor giving the sermon stops for a dramatic pause, and I let go with one of those long, loud, butt rumblin' farts...Nothing transmits a fart as well as the oak of a good old church pew. It was a holy experience. Almost got the pastor to bust out laughing, too." - D. Bjorn Christian

"Many moons before I met Nic, I was dating this guy that I thought was SOOO COOL...I was like 19 maybe? And he was 26 and a barista at Starbucks and had a Jeep. It was love. Anyway, he was house-sitting for his boss and he invited me to spend the night. Well, I woke up the next morning, hungover AF, completely forgetting that I wasn’t at my house. So I roll over and let out the loudest, manliest fart of my entire life. Girl, I pretended to be asleep for like the whole ass day so I didn’t have to face him. We never talked about it, but he also didn’t ask me to spend the night again." - Aushni Mayer

"I was 8 months pregnant, at my boyfriend's mother's house, with his sister and her husband and kids, his brother and his wife, his mom, and her husband..and he said something really funny..it was one of those choke on your drink laughs... I farted like 5 times, and they were loud...while choking on my drink...You can't imagine the embarrassment!" - Melissa Johnson

"Apparently one night, when everyone was asleep, I sneezed in my sleep and ripped a massive fart at the same time. When I woke up the next morning my husband and kids all asked me if I remembered what I had done and I didn’t recall it AT ALL. It was apparently so loud, my kids heard it in their rooms with their doors closed and over their music going that they put on every night at bedtime. They said I even giggled in my sleep after it happened." - Zephyr Jobb

"I fell asleep in class and farted myself awake and when I opened my eyes I saw everyone was looking at me and all I could say was "what?" - Victor Proa

"One time I was on some pretty strong antibiotics and had the tear gas farts. I was checking out at United with my friend and one slipped out. No one noticed until her eyes were literally in tears from burning." - Bethany Ivins

"I tapped a kid on the opposite shoulder trying to mess with him in study hall in 6th grade one day...didn't realize this kid was having a bad day right...so he turned around and punched me outta nowhere...at the very same moment he hit me, I let out the grumbliest fart ever while sitting at my desk..so as I'm basically fighting this kid I can hear the other students simultaneously questioning where the fart exactly came from and exactly why we were fighting..it was an interesting day in study hall for sure" - Matt Squawk Jurek

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