Back in 2006, I borrowed someone else's ID so that I could get into Foam Night at Heaven. Everyone at school always talked about sneaking into the popular night club and my friends convinced me to join the fun.

The doorman didn't bat an eye at the fact that I looked almost nothing like the photo and I was so totally stoked on it. I'd never done anything that crazy before and I wanted to have cool stories to brag about at school like everyone else.

We walked in and headed straight for the bar. I was really feeling like an extra fancy and adult after ordering some kind of fruity bullshit cocktail that I would never drink these days.

We stood around waiting for the foam to start shooting out of this cannon. Everyone was dancing and having fun. I was, umm, pretending to dance? Or something like it. Then the foam came.

It started small. Just a little foam on the ground, no big deal. Then it just kept going and going...and going until you could barely see what was around at all.

That's when everything went wrong.

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I took a deep breath at the exact moment a huge clump of foam landed on my head. I inhaled the foam.

My throat was automatically on fire. I was choking and coughing and looking for a way out, blinded by whatever the hell that stuff is made out of. I lost my flip-flops trying to free myself from the bodies of random people all squished up together on the dance floor and headed for the bathroom. I couldn't breathe and I literally thought I might die.

I was gagging and choking so hard that I probably peed in my pants and didn't even notice because I was already soaked in that funky-smelling foam. Other people in the bathroom had fallen victim to the foam, so that made the entire ordeal slightly less embarrassing. We all choked and puked together. It was just lovely.

That was enough for me. I was ready to go. I was no longer interested in being an adult.

I found my friends in all of the chaos and we headed out the front door, barefoot. My lime green flip-flops were sadly never recovered. There was a huge crowd right outside of the building and someone was arguing. The next thing we knew, a woman put her hand up in the air and proceeded to shower everyone outside with pepper spray. That West Texas wind did not help the situation at all. It was just the icing on the cake after the trauma I'd already been through inside. Oh, foam wicked mistress.


RIP, Heaven Night Club. We all sort of miss you even though you nearly killed us.

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