Are Terrified Lubbock Citizens Literally Being Eaten Alive?

Yeah, blame these guys, even though they are TOTALLY INNOCENT! WHAT DID THOSE POOR ZOMBIES EVER DO TO YOU???

Even during this Halloween season, there is an evil lurking in Lubbock that has turned all of us into it's delicious prey and is ready to pounce again at the first chance it gets.

No, not that cute little guy above. Nor is it a prairie dog that's to blame. Nope, it's THESE little bastards.

This year, Lubbock and most of the civilized world (this leaves Odessa out) are being invaded by a new "super skeeter" that is nearly invisible to spot and doesn't require the usual standing water to breed.

Apparently, they can do the "nasty skeeter mambo" and make little buggers pretty much anywhere. Plus, these guys can bite through clothes, so you may not even know you were bitten until the welt forms.

Our fearless leader took a photo of an article out of New Mexico after she, too, was a skeeter attack victim.

According to the story, these guys are "human-focused" and aren't interested in biting other animals. I call BS on that because my little incontinent dogs always seem to have a new bite every single time they head out to the yard, which just gives them another excuse to lick each other inappropriately.

However, seeing that our neighbors to the west are also having this issue, I think we know who's really to blame here...

IT'S NEW MEXICO'S FAULT!

Darn right. Texas mosquitos are much more respectful and always want you to have a blessed day after biting you. They're appreciative and grateful to be in Texas. These other guys are all take and no give -- like a Saturday at the South Plains Mall.

The only solution is an old one. It's time to BUILD THAT WALL! We've championed the idea of a wall between Texas and New Mexico for some time now, but we must make it high enough so that mosquitoes from the Land of Enchantment get tired trying to fly over it and give up. Just give us two weeks to slow the spread, or consume as much Benadryl as humanly possible.

It's just crazy enough to work!