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I guess wearing a mask over your mouth is a start. At least you're not the 'on the chin' or 'hanging off the ear' person.

I guess most noses also fire down (except when you lean back to sneeze), so it's gotta be better than nothing.

I also understand that masks slip, but it's pretty easy to tell if you're dealing with someone whose mask has slipped, and someone who wears it like their nose is their pecker sticking above their underwear.

By now we've heard all of the excuses, and before we even get to them, maybe you're like me and noticed that a lot of the people who make excuses for this also make excuses for everything.

So let's get to some of those excuses and start with "it's too hot." Right now in Lubbock, there are roofing and road crews working on 106-degree weather. Your claim it's too hot to wear one in an air-conditioned store just does not hold water. I'd also like to mention my friends -- prison guards, bikers and others for whom wearing a face covering is a way of life. Sorry, totally rejected.

How about the claim that gas could build up inside and you could pass out. I think we'd pretty much be stepping over dead bodies in the streets if that was the case, but let's look to recent events. Did you see and of the police or protesters (all masked) passing out? Did the guy next to you who is wearing one properly pass out? Uh...no. And then there's this:


Lastly, let's deal with "it's uncomfortable." The answer to that one is pretty simple. It's also uncomfortable to be intubated, face down, with a diaper on while your relatives wait to find out if you live or die. If you want something a little less extreme, my underwear are uncomfortable and you don't want to see me near your food with my balls hanging out.

Let's get to the core of this. The "under-nosers," for some reason, tend to be older people. It's not the elderly, because they see their friends dying every week, but the people right below that, who think they know more than their store managers, and certainly more than you. Yeah, there are some kids who want to break the rules because they are kids, but most of them will pull their masks up with a little encouragement.

So, be kind to the under-nosers, they are liable to pass out AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT because there is a strip of paper or cloth over their mouth and (sometimes) nose. Better yet, give their job to someone who isn't so dainty and let them stay home so they don't pass out and hit their pointed heads.

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