Dr. Seuss and Cardi B Are Not the Same [Humor/NSFW]

(I guess I should warn you that women shake their butts in the video above.)

Okay, Sam I Am -- get ready for a lesson in WAP.

The rapper known as Cardi B. had a memorable performance of the risque song "WAP" (look it up if you don't know what it means) at the 2021 Grammys over the weekend with special guest Megan Thee Stallion. I immediately saw posts on social media saying, 'what about the children?' and 'why are we canceling Dr. Seuss and allowing this filth on TV?'

I'm glad you asked.

I understand how people want to compare these two things, but they are not the same. We'll get back to that in a minute. Cardi B. and Megan delivered the mega-hit "W.A.P." and at one point locked legs and which point Megan flipped Cardi over in what I thought was a pretty neat move (if it isn't used in wrestling, it should be). This led some people to believe the ladies were scissoring, which is what dumb straight people think gay women do in the bedroom (it's kind of not a thing).

So let's get to it. I reviewed the "WAP" performance video for professional purposes and I actually found it a little disappointing. There was some mild and kind of awkward twerking, the move I described above, and that was kind of it.

So let's get to why. Even as a barely racy TV moment, it has nothing to do with the Dr. Seuss controversy and why parents should not be concerned.

#1. Kids don't watch the Grammys. They don't care, and relatively few people do.

#2. You are the parent. Turn off the TV if you don't like it.

#3. Overt sexuality and racism are two different things. I guess you could argue both are bad, but they are very different things. Pineapple on pizza is also bad, but it doesn't need to be lumped in with these topics.

#4. Sexuality is a process in your mind. I've seen worst things on wrestling and we know you're watching that.

#5. Dr. Seuss makes books for children so we have to watch what we put in them. WAPs are how you make children, so you have to watch what you put in them.

There you go. I hope I helped.