So, What About That Free Stuff Chris Beard Was Supposed to Get?

So, he's gone. Off to that mecca of snobbery and privilege known as Austin. Enjoy the money, carpetbagger.

Chris Beard's betrayal comes after fans and businesses in Lubbock did everything in their power to sway the now former Texas Tech men's basketball coach into staying on the South Plains, throwing as many freebees as we possibly could at his feet, only to be rejected like a bad prom date.

We feel you, Evie Mae's BBQ. We really do.

Get our free mobile app

But let's think about all of the goodies that Chris (I won't call him "coach" anymore) passed up on his way down south. I mean, who wouldn't have wanted to stick around for a free hemorrhoid banding for life? Sign me up!

Admittedly, getting spurned by Beard is already making us feel like a pain in the ass.

But what to do with the rest of the freebies that Beard was offered to stay? Such as the free wings for life at Beef O' Brady's? The Evie Mae's barbecue? The free beer at Two Docs? As much as it hurts right now, I know exactly who should get these rewards.

THE FANS.

Now, obviously, not ALL of the fans should get free beer for life, except for, of course, yours truly. But there is a way to turn tragedy into triumph.

Take the rewards that were going to go to Beard, and auction them off for charity in his name. You can find a hundred deserving organizations that would benefit from this, and hardcore fans would jump through hoops or the opportunity to win free beer, ribs, wings, or 'roid banding.

Admittedly, we could give these rewards as incentive to find the next great Texas Tech Men's men's basketball coach. However, for being put through the ringer of doubt and despair to see Beard go, let's spread the wealth and pay it forward to the greatest fans in college sports.

Guns up, y'all.