I Miss The Ocean, But I’m Not Getting Back Into It.

As I've gotten older, I actually fear everything less, with one exception:  The Ocean.  Read more after the break.

First off, I don't mean a "paralyzing fear", but the more I learn about the ocean, the more I think that it's just a mixture of sea devils and fish poop.  I used to spend all day at the beach (I lived in Southern California until I was 17).  I learned to surf, boogie board, swim like a crazy man and on occasion even fish the ocean.  Now if I had the opportunity I'd love to sit and watch the waves or even nap on the beach and feel the ocean breeze and mist, but my days of swimming are over.

I don't want to be among the sea vermin, weeds, real killers and possible sea monsters.  At this point, I want to stop and say if there are monsters in this world, they are in the ocean and you never know where they're going to swim up and bite your junk off.  There's also crabs, jellyfish, things with sharp shells and the worst thing of all, riptides.  A riptide will drag your ass out to sea quicker than anyone can get there with a jet ski or boat.  If the ocean decides it wants you dead, you ARE dead.  When in the water you'll feel stuff brush up against you and you don't know if it's seaweed, a fish, or a dead body.  You'll get waves knocking water up your nose and down your throat and it'll gag you (and the south coast water is even worse than the west coast water-and I've heard east coast is the worse).

Have you ever been close to a whale?  I have, and you won't say "oh look at the beautiful creature playing in the water", what you'll say is "oh, crap I hope that huge-a$$ motherf@$%ing fish doesn't come over here".  When you see a whale, you realize if that fish is a dumb bastard and swims your way, you are done (and I'm talking about WHEN YOU ARE ON A BOAT!).  When you see a whale, you realize that you are a tiny speck of carbon on this planet next to some of the other stuff.

And what about octopi?  You want me in the same what as something with a giant head, one eye, eight arms, an "inker" and a beak.  Ain't happenin' no more!

Lets get back to the water itself.  The ocean has a way of somewhat "cleaning itself" but, in essence, you are swimming in a giant pool of dead fish, fish pee and poo, rotten pirates, fish hooks, trash and god knows what.  Let's say you had a pool in your backyard and you let a couple cats sh#t in it for their entire lifespan, then when they died you left them in the pool.....would you swim in that?  Hells to the no.

Fear the ocean and everything in it.  You'll live longer.