It’s National Hot Dog Day, Please Celebrate Responsibly

It's National Hot Dog Day, and it's important that you not demean these glorious tube-steaks in any way.

Glizzy's

I'm not big on the kid's slang these days. I'm still not 100% sure how to say "No Cap" without sounding like a complete moron. I DO very much appreciated the name "hot dog" got upgraded to "Glizzy" in the popular vernacular. It's a past due honor for humble hot dogs to sound a little special.

The Sin

The reason we are here my friends it to make sure that your glizzy is properly dressed. Some of us like ketchup, some mustard, and some even a little mayo. Relish is always welcome and a little onion is good too. Sometimes I'll even go bacon-wrapped or have a full on "Chicago Dog" with all the dressing. Most importantly I will make sure that every single bit of that wiener is bathed in something, unlike this atrocity:

The Offender

My morning show partner sent me this picture to make me jealous of the hot dog she was having by the lake, and all I could see was all the condiments bunched up in the middle. Seriously, who does this? You don't load up a hot dog like a jelly donut with all of the stuff in the middle (I'm pretty sure if there was an 11th commandment, that would be it). Not only did she short-shrift the ketchup, she bunched up the relish even worse.

Consequences

I believe all of this is against nature, and possibly against the law. This is a abuse of a glizzy and the creator should be held accountable. I guess I should also mention that it used to be HER JOB to present food in an attractive manner? How can you have so much dry bun? This is unfathomable. My compliments to the hot dog chef though, that glizzy looks like it has just enough char.