New Study Finds Every Lubbock Errand Somehow Costs $100

According to a totally made-up study, the average Lubbock resident leaves home intending to spend about $4, but somehow, pulls back into the driveway almost exactly $100 lighter...

Researchers are calling it "Errand Creep," and it usually begins with the sentence:

"I've gotta go grab some toilet paper..."

You head to the store for a little TP, where you quickly remember you're also out of paper towels. Better snatch a few rolls. Oh! AND, the drinks are on sale, buy one get one! NICE. The cat could probably use a few more treats...o0o...and maybe this little squeaky mouse! Oh! AND, I bet the new Oreo flavors are on the shelves! Better grab some ice cream to have with them! And...next thing you know, $100, bye-bye...

fan of 100 U.S. dollar banknotes

And honestly, that's if you're lucky.

You might also need to buy gas, swing by the pharmacy to find something for that gross rash you're too embarrassed to tell your mom about, and while you're at it, lunch sounds pretty good.

Luckily, researchers say, there is a solution.

Stay home.

Unfortunately, toilet paper is really important...

So tomorrow, you'll do it all over again. Watch for a receipt that is suspiciously close to $100. That's your first clue the Errand Creep has struck again.

Good luck at the supermarket this weekend, guys. You'll go in for 4th of July cookies, but you'll probably leave draped in an American flag with a new water hose and 16 cases of your favorite (nearly expired but totally half-price) sodas.