Jeez, way to ruin my weekend plans.

Apparently, Buffalo Springs Lake is looking for some public input on a few newly proposed and highly controversial ordinances. These new rules would absolutely suck the fun out of a day at the lake, and with the new $15 per person gate fee it almost seems like they just don't want anyone to come there anymore at all.

There's a lengthy list of new proposals and some of them seem pretty normal, but there are certainly a few that just make you laugh and wonder what kind of dystopian world they're living in over there.

First of all, one proposed rule would make it so people could no longer play any kind of loud music. This means portable radios, loudspeakers and stereos would be a no-go if you have them cranked up loud enough for anyone else to hear.

Nothing says a day on the lake drinking beers with your family than dead silence accompanied by the occasional loud fart from your Uncle Joe. What's camping with no radio playing in the background to drown out your parents arguing over who lost the bug spray?

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The next ridiculous proposal is that they simply want to do away with bad words. How in the hell are you going to work that one out, Buffalo? Banning foul language? Are we living in the 1940s? They're also trying to ban any sort of offensive gestures, so don't even dare to flip off your friend when he drunkenly drops your burger, mayo side down, on the ground. No, sir. Strike 3, you're out.

The strangest of the proposed rules? You won't be allowed to play catch anymore. No tossing the old pigskin with your grandpa one last time at the family reunion. In fact, they went as far as to mention "clods of earth" as an unacceptable thing to throw. Who's throwing clods of dirt, anyway? Toddlers? Are we going to escort 4-year-old kids out in handcuffs?

It's all just a whole lot to ask from a lake that nobody even wants to eat a fish out of. Good riddance, Buffalo. You might as well hang a sign out front that reads "KARENS ONLY" and be done with it. Ugh.

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