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Is it even spooky season if you haven't gotten totally wasted on the 'bees' Halloween-themed cocktails?

Applebee's went viral last year for their monthly selections of dirt-cheap cocktails. So cheap, yet so potent, that you were only allowed to order so many per hour. I know this because I tested it on some purple thing that came garnished with tiny plastic vampire fangs. I guarantee this cocktail caveat wasn't a money-saving measure, it was more of a 'let's not have anyone remove their clothes and fall asleep sweaty on our vinyl bench' type of policy, which any non-nude, drunk, and sweaty person would find completely reasonable.

This year, parking at the bar to wait out the clock on your next $1 cocktail isn't really safe, but the 'bees did not kill the Halloween fun. They brought back the bigger (and much better tasting) Halloween selections, including the Tipsy Zombie, which is similar to a cocktail I had there last year.

This version is "a tropical blue cocktail made with Bacardi Superior, a float of Midori, and, yes, it's topped with a gummy brain." It's a very insta-worthy cocktail, and it's kinda hurting my teeth just looking at that sugary goodness.

The other new Halloween fun cocktail is "Dracula Juice," which is a hilarious name and I must have five. From Applebee's: "It's a frozen drink made with Patrón Tequila, Bacardi Superior, wildberry, and margarita mix." Nothing guarantees a night of hedonistic pleasure quite like mixing tequila with rum.

Rest assured, these are still a 'bee-argin (I am so deeply sorry) at only $5 for a schooner size, and you can even get them to-go if you like. Just remember: if you're really gonna tear one off, have a sober ride.

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