7 Weird Guinness World Records Texans Broke in 2023

My friends and I used to spend hours looking through the Guinness Book of World Records. Sometimes we even tried to break the silly ones. The closest I came to breaking a record (which was not close at all) was probably the time I refused to cut my fingernails for a few months. I was just sure I could grow them out super long and crazy like the record holder. Seemed simple enough, right?

Turns out, it takes a lot more time and patience than you can fathom at 10 years old. I don't even know if they grew an inch. My mom eventually put a stop to my tomfoolery with clippers before a church Christmas pageant, thwarting my meager attempt at record-breaking fame.

"But, I'm ALMOST there..."

One of my buddies may have held the record for the longest nipple hair until an unfortunate incident with a loofah in the shower. Guinness never had the chance to come out and verify its length before disaster struck. He was devastated. I still feel bad for the guy. It was his claim to fame.

Without that exceptionally long nipple hair, he was just James.

Last year, Texans broke quite a few world records, ranging from totally badass to downright bizarre. Browse the gallery below for 7 of the weirdest world records broken by Texans in 2023.