You do remember that Chris Evans was in Not Another Teen Movie, don't you?

Marilyn Manson contributed a cover of Soft Cell's "Tainted Love" to the soundtrack of the 2001 flick. In fact, you may have seen the screenshot of him dressed up like a human ice cream sundae. Well, the humiliation doesn't stop there.

Captain America and his letterman brothers are holding court at a party when it's invaded by Manson, Joey Jordison and other miscreants. Manson gives Cappy a big push, and gets to the business of molesting EVERY FEMALE AT THE PARTY.

Manson's sexual infinity crotch weapon is so strong he turns the good girl into a nasty goth beauty.

That's right, kids -- Captain America matches up well against Thanos, but is no match for Marilyn Manson.