It's Going to Be So Cold in Lubbock That...

We are off to a very cold start as we get hit with a second winter (is that a thing, 'cause it seems to be a thing). Well, we certainly are in for a frosty weekend, and I, for one, say good!

Before we get to the hijinks, let me explain why I think this is good. Last year we barely had a hard freeze. This year's freeze might be sufficient to kill whatever out there that needs to be killed from pollen-laden plants to mosquitos. Just go die, you sensitive to cold weather things, I've had enough of you.

One more thing: please take this cold seriously for you and your pets. Your doggie may pee on your carpet by bringing him inside, but that's a whole lot better than having a dead doggie outside. Keep everybody and everything warm this weekend.

Now, how cold is it in Lubbock?

It's so cold in Lubbock that they're carving a parka for the Buddy Holly statue
It's so cold that the ducks in the playa lakes are wearing down jackets
It's so cold that you're finally going to be able to burn those phone books that were left in your yard
It's so cold that double T logos will shrink to lower case
It's so cold that you may actually see turn signals on cars, mostly because they got frozen in place
It's so cold that we may have to have New Mexico amputated later
It's so cold that strippers may actually give you discounted lap dances just to have a warm place to sit
It's so cold that people will hire the homeless just to breathe on them
It's so cold that people will be making igloos out of those rolls of toilet paper they hoarded.