This is the true story of Animal Cracker porn.

Once upon time, there was Maxim <agazine. It was a cross between a gentleman magazine and Mad Magazine. Maxim then begat Stuff which was focused a little more on humor and irreverent jokes and pictures.  Stuff Magazine had a feature than ran for quite a bit called, "Found Porn".

"Found Porn" wasn't really porn, but rather photographs of things, that when taken out of context, looked a little naughty.  A listener gave me something that I was going to send into "Found Porn", but I never quite got around to it. This all happened around the year 2000 and the magazine folded in 2007.

Chrissy happened to find the box where I kept the item and could not believe that I held onto it for two decades. The item in question is an animal cracker and I'm not sure what's supposed to actually be going on, but it looks like a monkey holding his giant, uh, monkey wiener.

Nessmania

So time has not been kind to the monkey cracker, but doesn't it look like he has a rager that goes up to his chin? Am I the only one seeing this? Sure, the cracker has lost a little definition over the years, but I don't think it's that much of a stretch to see what I was seeing when I saw the cracker.

So now that you've viewed the famous monkey dong cracker (as heard about on the RockShow) don't you feel like you should wash your eyes?

Photos From Lubbock’s 2015 Blizzard