I am not a diet junky. In fact, as I type this I just had fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and more gravy than any human should have in one sitting.

I have even discussed having "gravy races" with a friend, with both of us chugging gravy. Still, there is one item that I only have every couple of years because it makes me feel bad about myself.

The item is something that we invented and it's called, "The Patty Dog". The Patty Dog is named in honor of my wife who came up with this idea (apparently to prove I'll eat anything). It's a very simple concept. Do you like chili dogs? Do you like corn dogs? Well, get ready for a Patty Dog.

Fry up a corn dog until it's crispy and ready to go. Split it down the middle, add mustard, and fill it with chili, cheese, and onions. That's really all there is to it.

There's something about doubling up on the junk food aspect of these two foods that will make you feel deep shame that you can't wash off in the shower. A chili dog is a sin. A corn dog is a sin. A Patty dog is a full-on mortal sin from which few can ever beg forgiveness.

I promise you it will be one of the most delicious things you've ever eaten and most who do, will say, "I just can't go there again". It's a terrible gastronomical trail you blaze with a thing like this and you're heading into dark territory. Good luck.