![I Defended Lubbock’s Honor In Fireworks Fight](http://townsquare.media/site/189/files/2021/06/attachment-stephanie-mccabe-_Ajm-ewEC24-unsplash.jpg?w=980&q=75)
I Defended Lubbock’s Honor In Fireworks Fight
Are you ready for one of those "things you should not try at home" stunts?
I have been involved in more than my fair share of drunken jackassery in my life. I have jumped over bonfires, competed in stretcher races, had boards broken over my heads, things stapled to me, put my feet in a box of fire ants, and on and on. I still enjoy this kind of shenanigans every once in a while, except I don't really drink anymore. The lack of joy-juice really makes these experiences a bit more intense and a bit more painful when they go wrong.
So on a recent trip to Austin when a drunken fool yelled that it was time for a Roman Candle Fight, I said, "you son of a b@tch, I'm in". My competition/jousting partner was an Abilene Roller Girl named "Irie One Shove" or "Baby Sara" to her friends. This kid (when I say kid, I mean person younger than me, because she has two kids of her own) thought she was tough enough to take on an old guy while wearing a dress (she was wearing the dress and not me).
A poll was taken and the crowd was overwhelmingly in Baby Sara's favor. On my side were just two people, my friend Laquita and a guy who insists on being called "Gay Satan". The odds and the crowd were stacked against me. I guess everyone just figured Baby Sara was younger, quicker, and meaner. They didn't know the legend of Wes "White Chocolate" Nessman. They should have listened when I said, "I'm fixin' to burn me a little girl".
So who won? See for yourself. ***Warning. Language & Jackassery Ahead***
Remembering the Lubbock Municipal Coliseum
Remembering the Lubbock Municipal Coliseum
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