Joyland Will Most Likely Not Be a Haunted Amusement Park

Things kind of spun out of control.

I guess I have to start with the fact that I'm part owner of Nightmare On 19th Street in Lubbock and Bat City Scaregrounds in Austin. (I'm not looking to put plugs in here, but it's important to the story). My partner and I have been doing this for 16 years, and truth be told we're just now starting to see the light of day.

Yesterday morning I started receiving message after message either asking me to buy, or congratulating me on buying, Joyland Amusement Park.

I don't know where any of this came from, I truly don't. I do know how it escalated, though. I thought the best way to deny my involvement was to post a snarky meme. It's the Leonardo DiCaprio meme that in my mind basically says, "yeah, sure dumbass."

Let's pause for a look:

Well, as of this writing that meme has reached about 45,000 people and has over 450 comments. How people don't understand it was a joke is beyond me. I just don't understand how people think I have the millions needed to buy that property while I drive around in a 20-year-old truck.

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I knew things were getting serious when I was contacted by a TV news anchor who I know is one of the sweetest, most genuine people I have ever met in my life. I immediately told her that I was not buying the park. I continued to get messages until I got an unhinged, illiterate, semi-threatening message about how I shouldn't turn Joyland into another "spook" house or something.

Guys, the truth of what's going to happen to Joyland is probably far worse than me owning it. It's probably going to be pieced out to other theme parks, taking your memories out of Lubbock, ride by ride. I will, however, be buying Santa Land and plan on turning it into Satan Land because all I have to do is switch letters.

...

Okay, so that's a joke, too.

Just in case you're wondering what I'd do if I did buy a park, you might want to check out the South Park video below.