This stuff is bad. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate someone leaving this around because I was parched, but damn, this is terrible.

What we're talking about is La Croix Limon Cello "Naturally Essenced".  Here is my initial impression from my Facebook feed:

This is officially the worst crap ever. It tastes like somebody spit cake frosting into a glass of seltzer. It makes my mouth want to die. My tongue put in his two weeks notice. My throat is taking a sabbatical. My stomach is on strike. Real Americans will not support this drink

So let's continue. Stop with the "Sparkling Water". Just stop. It's terrible, bubbly saltwater. Sparkling Water is where soft drinks go to die. It tastes like a can of Sprite that you left in the back of your pickup for a couple of months and then decided to "go for it".

This stuff tastes like the guy on the Mr. Lemonhead box peed into a can. It's a drink that takes away hope. It smells like it's going to taste good, then laughs in your face. Drinking it makes you feel like you've been pranked. I'm not sure if this stuff is French, but if so, they're about to be on the wrong side of another war.

I feel like if I had crawled through the desert for 100 days I'd suck on a hot cactus before I'd have an ice-cold one of these. I feel like this is what super-villains drink while devising plans to wipe out half the earth's population.

The can claims "0 Sweetener 0 Sodium" and they should have added, "0 Time Spent On Taste". I don't know who "La Croix" is, but I'm going to hunt him down and exact my revenge.

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