The Five Personality Types of People in Lubbock Parking Lots

If you actually want to understand Lubbock, skip the city limits sign and head straight to a parking lot. That’s where the true West Texas chaos lives — swirling wind, runaway carts, and the eternal debate over whether that’s an actual parking space or just a “suggestion.” Our parking lots are more than concrete; they’re personality tests with wheels.

Here are the five types of people you’ll find in every Lubbock, Texas parking lot — from 82nd Street to Slide Road — and which one you secretly are.

1. The Diagonal Rebel

You’ll spot them immediately, mostly because they’re taking up two spaces. The Diagonal Rebel truly believes their truck, Jeep, or mid-size sedan deserves extra personal space. Their motto: “It’s not crooked, it’s artistic.” My mother is an excellent example of a Diagonal Rebel. They’ll park across the lines, next to the cart return, or directly in the shade that three other drivers were eyeing. They are the Picassos of poor parking choices, and they sleep soundly knowing you’re judging them. Don't be like them.

2. The Cart Wrangler

Lubbock’s unsung hero. You’ve seen them — that one person rounding up rogue shopping carts like cattle in the wind. They didn’t even work there. They simply couldn’t handle the chaos. They walk them all the way back to the corral, muttering, “Somebody’s gotta do it.” They deserve free kolaches, a medal, and possibly city funding.

Read More: Community Steps Up As South Plains Food Bank Sees Demand Rise

3. The Wind Fighter

A West Texas classic. One arm is holding down their hair, the other is wrestling a Sonic bag and a receipt that’s already halfway to Amarillo. Their cart is rolling away, their door just flung open on its own, and they’re yelling, “HOLD ON!” to no one in particular. The Wind Fighter lives every day like they’re in a tornado-themed obstacle course.

4. The Spot Stalker

They’ll circle the lot ten times waiting for a front-row spot rather than walk a little. They lock eyes with you as you unload groceries, creating a silent tension harsher than the Texas sun. They’ll trail you like a slow-moving predator until you pull out, then wave politely as if you’re in on it together. You’re not. Despite how obnoxious I find the Diagonal Rebel, the Spot Stalker can be just as bad.

Read More: Perfect Fall Weather Ahead For the Lubbock, Texas Area

5. The Social Stopper

They came for groceries, but this parking lot is their stage. You’ll see them leaning against their truck, arms crossed, chatting for 45 minutes about Tech football, family updates, and “back when this used to be a Kmart.” Their conversation blocks three cars, and they do not care. The Social Stopper turns every errand into a high-school reunion — and honestly, we love them for it.

Asphalt Doesn’t Lie, Folks

Lubbock parking lots are the real community center — a place where people reveal their truest selves under the unforgiving sun and the howling wind. Whether you’re a Cart Wrangler or a Spot Stalker, just remember: we’re all out here together, dodging carts, chasing hats, and praying our doors don’t slam shut before we get the groceries in.

Keep scrolling for more Lubbock-based fun in the galleries below...