Lubbock Plays A Dangerous Game At 3:30 A.M.
I'd like to start this with a pitch for a new, local game show.
Here's how my game show unfolds:
[Cue Music, host walks out on stage]
Announcer: It's time for Lubbock's newest game show, "Is that a body, or is it just trash"?
Host: Yes, welcome to "Is that a body, or is it just trash", I'm your host Wes Nessman. Each morning at 3:30 a.m. I drive to work and I am constantly freaked out by the weird lumps I can see sitting in the road. Two contestants will now join me where they can win valuable prizes if they can determine whether the mystery package is a body or just trash. Contestant number one, what's your call?
Contestant One: Well it sure is body shaped, where did you find it?
Host: It was in the road at the Loop 289th offramp at Quaker. Contestant number two?
Contestant Two: I think I can see through it, or it may be just double-wrapped. Did you get any other pictures?
Host: Nope, another car was trying to veer into me so they wouldn't run it over either.
Contest One: Well, Lubbock is a very dangerous place, I think I'll go with "body".
Host: And contestant number two, your guess?
Contestant Two: I'm going to go with trash.
Host: And contestant number two, you are the winner! This time it was only body-shaped trash. Now there's a high likelihood that somebody wrapped a body in this trash and it just fell off, but that's a technicality and it does not count. Congratulations number two, and for those of you playing at home, join us again tomorrow as we play Lubbock's favorite game, "Is that a body or just trash?".
[Music Out, announcer walks to contestant area and raises the winner's hand"]