The Top 10 People In Lubbock That Need To Be Slapped

Like a whirlwind, the pimp-slap heard round the world has come and gone. We’ve heard every single opinion from every single little de-evolved idiot and now it’s almost time to move on. That’s right, I said "almost."

Let’s start with the fact that it’s never, ever cool to slap someone unless it’s self-defense or you’re trying to wake them up from a coma. The LAPD said that any officer that witnessed the Will Smith-Chris Rock incident at this year's Oscars had the power to arrest Will Smith right there. Every single attorney on my friends list has pointed out that this incident is the definition of assault.

Right now there are other attorneys probably frothing at the mouth for a chance to sue Will Smith knowing dang well they could win a chunk of millions (Rock has two years to decide if he wants to sue). I bring all this up because, once again, no one should ever be slapped. Again, if you tell a police officer "Wes said to slap these people," then he's going to say, "well, then you're both idiots".

Now, if we’re making jokes (which is now a dangerous thing), certain people around here probably a mental slap, and that’s why I now bring you a list of the 10 people in Lubbock who really need to be slapped.