What Is This Terrible Abomination Sighted On Texas Stores Shelves?
Weird stuff tends to catch my eye, but nothing could prepare me for the horror I saw over the weekend.
Apparently, this item is just "new to me". I guess they're targeted at health nuts and people with special dietary restrictions. I'm still of the belief that even if you fit one of those two categories there have to be some tasty, delicious offerings that you can enjoy.
It's a great big world and there are lots of things to treat yourself with. That's why I'm so concerned that some of you among us have had to resort to "Frooze Balls". We will speculate on their tastiness here in a moment, but are you serious about naming them "Frooze Balls"? I did look inside the clear top packaging and saw that it looked like a bunch of meatballs, but I just think you might have spent a bit more time coming up with a more appetizing name (after all, "Frooze Balls" sounds like you cut the balls off a "Frooze").
Onto the taste. I dearly love you listeners and readers and I have actually taken the radio station shirt off my back to give to folks who needed one, but there are some lines I will not cross, and one of them is eating "Frooze Balls". I'm sure they're wonderful for "plant-powered energy balls" that are vegan, gluten-free, non-GMO, and possibly part of some evil plan to eliminate real food from the earth.
The flavors vary widely among popular choices like PB&J, Rasberry, Lemon Cheesecake, and such, but I think that's just the filling or whatever, the outside is still "Frooze" (they are like a chocolate-covered cherry situation). Apparently, they are made in New Zealand, where the Frooze grows (I don't know if it's farmed, picked, or scraped from leaves).
If any of this has you intrigued, check out their pun-filled website, which has the jokes, but still no 100% description of what the heck the "plant-based" exterior is. I guess I should have looked at the ingredients in person but I was frightened by the whole experience.