Most everything that was wiped out in the stores is back, but I've noticed one interesting exception.

Hey, remember when all the jackasses bought all the toilet paper? I sure hope their delicate asses are enjoying the investment. For a while, there was talk of a meat shortage. Ramen was a bit scarce, and the pasta aisle was decimated. And it's down the pasta aisle I'm talking about here.

So here it is: what the hell are you doing with all that Alfredo sauce, Lubbock? I sure can't get any of my regular or generic brands of Alfredo sauce. Today, I was lucky enough to find a couple of bottles on the shelf of a very expensive brand I've never heard of (and I only bought ONE because I'm not a douchebag).

Are you guys guzzlin' the Alfredo the way a sorority girl dips everything in Ranch? Are you taking Alfredo baths or filling a waterbed with the stuff?

Guys, we're in a pandemic, but we're in a pandemic in AMERICA. This is the land of plenty. Let the poor Alfredo sauce manufacturers get caught up. Why don't you learn to make some instead? Maybe if you learned to make Alfredo sauce you could be an Alfredo sauce kingpin in your neighborhood, repaying "favors" with jars of your sauce.

Oh, and one other thing. Do you know those little microwavable cans of chili? Quit hoarding that crap, too. I've been wanting chili-dogs and you're harshing my mellow. 

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